


The Death of Hope

by nullmatic



Category: Christian Bible, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Angels, Book of Revelation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29327646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nullmatic/pseuds/nullmatic
Summary: In all of his majesty and splendor, Jesus of Nazareth has descended upon Bikini Bottom. Unfortunately for SpongeBob, that isn't the only bottom he had in mind.
Relationships: SpongeBob Squarepants/Jesus Christ
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15





	The Death of Hope

Revelations 3:19-21

"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne."

* * *

An anchor hewn of ivory parted the clouds over the Great Pacific, and on its crown was fixed a chain of cosmic proportions, which was necessary to support its weight. To the base of the anchor was affixed a rainbow, though rainfall had not made itself known for several days in that region. As it approached the surface of the ocean, twenty-four anchors of less immense standing pierced the line between heaven and sky, and made haste to accompany the first and mightiest among their number.   
  
From these hallowed thrones was heard a chorus, a golden hymn sung in a language known to no mortal man or beast, and all who heard it were said to have prostrated themselves in obedience, for in their hearts a most profound love of God and their fellows had awoken. Seated in the first throne was a righteous figure, unmatched in the depth of his virtue and his love for all that was good, and in his right hand he cherished a papyrus scroll that was sealed seven times over.

A seraph descended from one of the lesser thrones, at whose fluttering of the wings did the seas shake and the winds tremble, and in whose eyes burnt the utmost reverence for the Will of God and his Commandments, and he cried, "Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us!" So fervent was his proclamation that he was compelled to weep, and with his tears bore the weight of the sins of the damned, and the ocean ran red with the blood of those who were eternally separated from the Lord.

”Weep not," said the figure seated upon the first throne, and the seraph's eyes at once were dry. "There is yet one among their number who is worthy of breaking the seal, a Lamb of my flock." His left hand rose, and the anchors breached the water, and from then only their chains could be seen by those above.

* * *

Daniel 7:9

"I beheld till the thrones were cast down, and the Ancient of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire."

* * *

SpongeBob beheld the sky and was afraid.

The sea itself was beset by tremors, and the sands did muster themselves into towers and bells, and if one listened closely to their chimes they would hear echoes of the death of Abel, as he pleaded for his life before being struck down by Cain. He knew not what it meant as the anchors sunk from the roof of the world, and his affliction so powerfully wrought its ills upon his heart that he could not bear but to hide, believing himself concealed within his home of fruit and wood.

The Lord Jesus atop his throne knew that he had found his Lamb, and bid the ophanim to prepare his chariot, that he might appear in the visage of a champion of old, so that he would usher in his flock to their immortal victory. 

The ophanim were as wheels, or rather the Platonic ideal of the Wheel as was imitated by the crafts of men, and their spokes were lit with the flames of holy wrath, and eyes innumerable gazed unblinking from their rim, that they might see to the heart of the original sin and to the ends of all creation. Possessed of unwavering obedience, they ferried the Son of Man to that chosen pineapple on the seafloor, and their rotations sent ripples throughout the ocean that induced all who felt them to confess their sins, for seeking the forgiveness of God was paramount in these latter days.

* * *

John 14:6

"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

* * *

Jesus disembarked from his chariot of deliverance, and with his scroll in hand, did knock upon the gate of the Lamb, for upon him was entrusted the fate of all mankind, in order to cement their union with their Holy Father for the rest of eternity.

"My child, why do you hide?" asked the Lord, and his voice entreated SpongeBob to answer from the depths of his house, who replied, "Please, I don't know who you are or from whence you came, and wish only to be left alone."

"I will not harm you, o flaxen Lamb. I am the waves that have nourished your people since the first tides met the shore. It is through I that all sins are forgiven, and it is through you that the seals will be broken."

At this, the gate to the Lamb's home did open by the Lord's command, and he entered to find the Lamb huddled in the corner of the drawing room, and the Lord did approach him. Bearing the scroll, Jesus said, "Each seal can only be broken with a sacrifice, given in the name of God the Father."

Gripped by a most potent ignominy, SpongeBob said in turn, "What are these sacrifices you speak of?" In truth he suspected the nature of his task, and his heart shuddered. His suspicions were answered, for the Lord revealed his secrets upon the Lamb, and bade him to undress that they might lieth carnally, for the key to the seals lied in the consummation between the shepherd and his flock.

* * *

Ezekiel 23:20

"For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses."

* * *

The Lamb felt himself unequal to his role, and protested mightily, but found the Lord steadfast in his conviction, and thus made to flee from his duties. The fearsome cherubim, the hands of God and unsurpassed in the depth of their desire to make manifest his will, were obligated to intervene, and gave the Lamb the strength to endure his task by means of frustrating his flight. Their arms of bronze did fetter him to the floor, and the Lord Christ cast aside his robe that the Lamb may have something to lie on and provide comfort during the coming trial.

SpongeBob bleated and whimpered most pitifully, but Jesus understood what was required of them both, and brought forth the weight of his plowshare upon the Lamb's field. The mewling of the Lamb increased in its distress, and the cherubim were thus compelled to subdue his mouth, that the Lord could concentrate on his work. As Jesus did come to know the depth of the Lamb, he felt the urge to release his seed, and the fruits of his labor departed from them both. With this exertion, he knew, the first seal had been broken.  
  
At the breaking of the seal, a voice could be heard to the farthest reaches of the earth, even in the ears of the deaf, and it said, " _Come and see_." And a white seahorse did emerge on the plains of the sand, and its rider went forth and slayed the false god of the sea, Neptune, in order to dispel these false idols from the land, that the prayers of its people would be reserved for the Lord and his son.

* * *

Proverbs 30:20

”Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness."

* * *

The same task would not be sufficient for the other seals, and thus a different approach was required. The Lord Jesus sat, and tended to his horn that it might be up to another exertion, and the cherubim brought SpongeBob's mouth to the reach of the Lord's stones, for his work was not completed. Beseeching him to understand the weight of their mission, he thus inserted his column into the mouth of the Lamb, who was overcome by coughs and revulsion, yet would have no respite for a great deal longer. The Lamb's tears flowed freely, and they salted the Lord's member, in a manner most like the occasion whence his feet had been wetted with the tears of the woman in Bethany, a memory that only increased his satisfaction for the deed.

SpongeBob's tongue was made to wash the Lord's column most thoroughly, and though the taste made him retch and heave, it was nothing compared to the vileness of the Lord's seed as it dripped down his throat, and he wished most intensely for death. For all of his suffering, the second seal did break, and a red seahorse did appear, whose master rode to smite the wicked and bring fear into the hearts of the unbelievers, that they may plead their case before God himself.

The Lamb would endure many such trials, and as the seals broke, more fearsome riders went forth to the corners of the land, spreading the stench of disease and merciless tides of beasts, that man may be humbled by the natural forces they had manipulated in defiance of God's will. Upon the destruction of the fifth seal, the souls of those who were martyred in the name of their faith emerged from the earth, and were at long last to be adorned in white robes, in preparation for the moment of their vengeance against the heathens who had once so savagely put them to death.

The breaking of the sixth seal brought a score of calamities, for the stars of the sky fell to earth, and consumed the living they did encounter, while the sun became black out of scorn for those below, and mountains crumbled into nothingness. The people who yet survived hid in the caves and ruins of their world, and wished above all else for an end to the waves of destruction.

One seal yet remained, however, and it would require the largest exertion yet on the part of the Lamb and his shepherd.

* * *

Genesis 19:5

"And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them."

* * *

A host of angels descended on the abode of the Lamb, their faces in the wild forms of the lions and goats, their bodies cast in metal, their eyes and appendages beyond number. They humbled themselves before the Lord, who had grown weary in his work, but knew he must persevere. He rallied them to his side, and SpongeBob understood what was to come, and he begged, "Please, have mercy on my soul, for I cannot endure anymore of these torments."

It was the Lord's command that the angels heeded, however, and at his beckoning they savagely cast themselves upon the Lamb, whose porous body was overrun with alien limbs. He writhed uselessly as every inch of him was fouled, his very core violated, and he felt his mind becoming fainter and fainter.

The angels had greater vigor than any son of man, and SpongeBob was subjected to what felt like an eternity of horrors, before at last the Lord's servants made their seed unto him, and his body overflowed with sacred fruit.

The seventh seal opened, and the heavens went silent. They would not remain so for long.

The Lord Jesus saw that the Lamb had not survived his trial, but through his suffering he had done what even the Son of Man could not do alone, for the salvation of all of God's creations had been made manifest on account of him.

Christ cradled the Lamb's lifeless body to his arms, and kissed his brow, declaring him a paragon of virtue, and proclaimed he would be reborn as chief among the angels. The angels who were assembled there knelt out of respect, and sang a psalm in honor of the Lamb, professing their undying submission and loyalty unto him.

Amen.


End file.
